Today I listened to a podcast segment
called Cousin Ed's Corner honoring Fatherhood on Next Door Neighbor (NDN) Radio. Cousin Ed featured the segment of The View's interview with actor Terry Crews. During this interview, Terry speaks about his perspective on Fatherhood
and why he feels it's important to have a male present in the family unit.
Immediately, the single mother's of the cast began to chime in over-talking and
debating him. Eventually, the chatter died down and he was able to make his
stance and position on fatherhood clearer. Nevertheless, something about the
immediate level of defensiveness the single mother(s) took struck a nerve, in
me. My mother always told me "A hit dog will holla" and I guess the
same holds true in this situation.
As a former single mother and a product of a long lineage of single mothers I am fully aware of the nerve that Terry's comments struck. I too held strong to my beliefs that as a single parent I was capable of providing all of my child's needs. Over the years, I've come to the conclusion that when put into the situation of being a single parents, historically, women have risen to the occasion and produced outstanding and productive men and women into today's society. Needless to say, women have adapted to the rearing children alone. In fact, woman have increasingly become accustomed to the belief that they don't need a man to assist in child rearing when the opposite is, in fact, true. The presence of a male entity IS needed child rearing.
Universally, there has always been balance
in the world. It’s a dual dichotomy of energy that creates an environment of
peace and stability. Male and female, Ying and Yang, light and dark. All of
these items are dependent on each other for the existence survival of humanity.
Too much of one could create an imbalance that could have a detrimental effect
on life, as we know it. So, why is it so hard to understand that the same rules
apply when parenting children. The effects of not having the influence of both
sexes may not show themselves directly or immediately in the lives and/or personality
of a child. However, it may rear its ugly head when that child grows into an
adult and struggles with making meaningful relationships.
In turn, I said all of that to say, Single
Mothers when an individual speaks about the necessity of a male entity in the
life of a child. It's not an attack on you as a single mother, provider,
working two jobs, and going to school.
No it's actually, a reminder that there is a thing called balance in
life. You, single mother were not created be a single parent. Although you have
adapted to that position, a relationship with a male entity is still needed in
the life of a child. In closing, I challenge all the males to reach out to some
of the fatherless children in your realm. You are a NECESSITY in the life of a
child. They need YOU. Also, I challenge all the single mother's to SHHH, be
still, and know that you are not being attacked but being sent a help mate or a
Ying to your Yang to balance out the areas in the life of your child(ren) that
you can't and was not designed to fulfill.
Always,
*Lady J*
Email: w2tv@welcome2thevillage.com
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Twitter:@lovingshanelle
